Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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