Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
no more duck duck goose at the bar
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
