He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
