Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
