Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
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