Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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