even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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