I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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