he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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