No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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