dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
