omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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