Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
