Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
did i walk over a car last night?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
3pm strippers are depressing
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
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