Dual....:-)
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i think my tv is drunk
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
