hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
