Cold hands, warm shart.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
