Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
