I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He's a Shit stain on my heart
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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