I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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