Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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