I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
