Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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