Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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