If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
