i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
