You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
