Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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