We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
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