You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
