she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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