i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
