belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Randomize
