dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
