Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
