so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
