he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
