I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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