I just made out with a guy for $7.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
