I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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