PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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