Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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