What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
He felt like a one man threesome
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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