Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
