If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Blood and glitter go together right?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
