God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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