It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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