What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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