So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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