Christians are straight up FREAKS
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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