I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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