My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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