I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
